Thomas Mann: "Doctor Faustus. The Life of German Composer Adrian Leverkühn. As told by a friend (*2)"

"[...] but firstly and lastly, and this justification has always carried the greatest validity, if not before man, then before God:  I loved him - with terror and tenderness, with indulgence and doting admiration, seldom asking whether he in any way returned my feelings.

Which he did not, oh no.  [...]"